Clean House

Earlier this week I opened a news article that was talking about a tragic double homicide related to a domestic incident. The cover image on the article was this beautiful home. Before I read the article, that was my remark. Honestly, there is so much tragedy in this world, that I just read the news instead of watching it. As I was scrolling, the image of that house made me curious. So I opened the article without truly paying attention to what the article was about. It was a beautiful home! The exterior looked like it was sparkly clean, perfectly trimmed lawn, and understated decor. You just knew that life was wonderful for whoever lived there. It was like one of those homes that would land on the cover of House Beautiful magazine. Maybe even Southern Living. It was idyllic. Picturesque. All those fancy words to describe something that is aesthetically pleasing to the eye.  

Then the reality of the headline sank in. It brought home the deep truth that the inside and outside don’t always match. I can be talking about houses, sure. But for clarity sake, I’m also talking about us as people. A while back, I had a post about beauty. So much emphasis is put on my exterior. Skinny is more beautiful than any other shape. Long flowing hair is a must. If it’s blonde, that’s a bonus. Yet, what I truly am is a ticking time bomb. A dumpster fire in packaging that can occasionally give the appearance of being “fine”. 

Why do we care so much what others see and what they’re saying about us? It has become a norm to post that type of lifestyle on social media. If you aren’t flaunting it, then you must not have it. And people walk around looking good on the outside, but they are in utter turmoil emotionally and have learned how to conceal it. I can remember years ago feeling like it was far better to tell people I was “fine” than to try explaining why I wasn’t. To be frank, there were times even I didn’t fully understand why I wasn’t “fine”. I was supposed to be, right? I was (am) a bible believing, God fearing church girl. I can’t not be “fine”. Right?

Wrong! In fact, that belief is what made it so hard for me to actually confront the problems I had with me. Pretending I don’t have issues or ignoring them doesn’t make them go away. To paraphrase a bible verse, if there is a plank lodged in my eye, then I don’t have clear enough vision to tell you how to remove yours. In other words, I have just as much work to do as you. It doesn’t mean that we aren’t helping each other. But if my house is in danger of being condemned then I’m certainly not in a good position to chastise you for having dust on your lamp shades.

Since we are still in the early parts of 2024 and resolutions haven’t yet been abandoned, consider some self-reflection. Take some time out with just you, no distractions. Be real with yourself. One thing that I know is that I can deceive you, I can lie to myself, but I can’t do any of those things to God. So when I spend time alone, I pray honestly and earnestly. If I want change, real change, then I first need to be honest with me about me. That might sound selfish. But I feel like we, especially women, have a tendency to neglect ourselves because we put so many others first. When it comes to my mental health and my overall well being, neglect is not an option. I don’t just want a stunning outside. I want to clean up my heart and my soul as well. 

Think of it like this. I’m a frequent purger. Every now and then, I go through my closet and throw a pile of shoes and clothing into the middle of the room that I KNOW I have not worn in X amount of time. No holds barred. There are some small exceptions. For example, I won’t ditch my winter boots in the summer. I take those items and I go donate them. In my mind, I’m keeping my closet fresh. I’m not holding on to a ton of things that are basically just taking up space. That’s the type of purge I have to learn to do mentally and emotionally. What am I holding on to that is taking up rent free space in my mind? What do I need to let go of? I’m a huge fan of taking a personal day. Even if you don’t have the type of job where that is a luxury, sit aside an hour or two each day. Think about the things you are grateful for and the things you want to change. I recently read this phrase and it stuck with me, “The more time you spend counting your own blessings, the less time you have to focus on everyone else's.” So take a social media break and start doing some emotional purging. 

Stay Sunny!