Embracing Forgiveness

The information that our brains can hold on to can be astounding. Have you ever found yourself remembering some silly inconsequential piece of information? Or perhaps, remembering a detail from something that everyone else seems to have forgotten about? When that happens to me, I start to wonder if I’m the one misremembering it. Or is everyone else succumbing to the Mandela effect and I’m the only one that emerged unscathed? Whatever the cause, that’s how our minds operate. At times, there are things we WANT to forget and our minds just won’t let it go. 

This plays a key role in our ability to start the process of forgiving. It’s more challenging to truly let something go when it’s fresh in your mind each day. So perhaps that is where the starting line begins. How do I stop reliving that moment in my mind over and over again? I like to think of it along the same lines as a habit change. If I want to stop biting my nails, for example, then an effective way to get the ball rolling is to replace the habit. What was I doing when I started nibbling? What was my trigger? Is it avoidable? If not, what can I do to replace putting my fingers in my mouth? 

All of those questions can help me on my road to forgiveness. Acknowledging hurt feelings is small potatoes. How do I get over something that cause me harm? There is not a one size fits all approach. While the habit change method periodically works for me, that may not work for you. The important first step, as with all things, is prayer.

Unloading your tears and frustrations doing your alone time with God can be productive. Number one, you aren’t pouring out words that may pile harm on top of harm. Instead, you have an opportunity to step back and have a true “What would Jesus do?” moment. Rather than feed and fuel your hurt feelings, turn it into something more productive. When your thinking begins to shift, you can make less emotional decisions, up to and including setting boundaries or ending relationships. 

As we approach the new year, it’s the perfect time to begin looking at our lifestyle habits and our thought process. It’s a great time to reflect inwardly and ask for God’s help in determining what type of habits or thoughts we have that are not beneficial to our future joy. Most importantly, understand that it is a process. Healing takes time, as does forgiveness. But our goal should be to have equal determination to give it as we do to receive it. 

Stay Sunny!

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